The other day I was lamenting to my better half about how every time I take a step forward with my weight loss, I find myself taking ten back. He responded with “Yes, it’s because you always sabotage yourself.” Sabotage – I think it’s a heavy word. According to the Cambridge dictionary it is defined as intentionally preventing the success of a plan or action.
Needless to say I was very affront by that statement. How could he say that about me? I, Ms Fitness 2014 (in my head) had self-sabotaging behaviours! What?! Ok, I took a step back and tried to look at the whole picture. Was I a self -saboteur and I did not have a clue about it? It is possible for someone to know something about you that you do not know about yourself (this theory is in one of those management books…I promise). So I decided to sit down and take stock of the situation at hand. Would you believe it…I do have self-sabotaging tendencies…terrible… In the spirit of sharing let me ask you dear reader..are you a closet self-saboteur? Here’s how I found out..(and how you can too):
- You procrastinate a lot: My husband knows I do this well…(I didn’t realise how good I can be at this) I make the decision then take my sweet time implementing the action. Infact to make it vaguer I don’t even set a time line. It usually misses the T in S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic, Time Bound). I put it off indefinitely then whine about why things aren’t happening.
- You believe the lies: You know the ones given by well meaning friends and relatives. comments about “you look so good – what have you been doing?” (when you know all you have been doing is eating lots) and of course the ones you tell yourself “I’m ok, I haven’t gained that much weight” and “an extra slice of cake won’t hurt. It’s never killed anyone before”…yeah those ones
- Blame shifting: This is blaming everyone in the world for your situation except yourself. Using all and sundry as a scapegoat…”It’s the trainer – I really don’t like him” I have used that before (honestly) when in reality I was being really lazy to d o what I needed to do. He did know better but hey I knew more (ha!)
- Lack of boundaries: Chris Lucruto explains this as lack of setting healthy boundaries. What this means is you need to set limits that help better you and make your life happier in general. Counting calories is a nightmare and (more often than not) it makes you very grouchy.A healthy boundary here would be monitoring and moderating what you eat while still being civil and happy.
- You do not think you are good enough: You know having a healthy lifestyle will benefit you in both the short and the long run. You even see positive results then decide..”no I think this is far enough for me” So you stop before you realise your potential and relapse into the bad habits and your back at stage 1 again. Sound familiar?
- You’re the last person on your list: Everyone in your family comes first..in some occasions so do your co-workers. You don’t set time for yourself even to do that 10 minute workout or make that yummy chicken salad you saw last night. Everyone is a priority but you. You conveniently forget that everyone needs you healthy to think about them too(especially family)
- You isolate yourself: Not literally of course. What I mean is you sit and ruminate over your mistakes, what has gone wrong, what hasn’t worked and how no one is there to help you. It doesn’t have to be that extreme, but not sharing your challenges, seeking a broader view and asking for help leaves you in the same predicament and you don’t move or grow.
Now that I know, I am making a conscious decision to move away from this, chart a new course and be GREAT!!
I start tomorrow (lol..not Monday as I always say) and I’m determined to do it this time!
If this reads true to you too, please share in the comments and let me know how you managed to get past it.