I wish I looked better than I do…

I compare myself to others every day whether consciously or subconsciously. When I am on social media or when I am just doing what I do wherever. Of course there is a ton of pressure I give myself as a result of this activity. I look at my idols on social media and lust over how awesome they look 3 children ( and probably 3 nannies) later or just how amazing they look in general. Is it rocket science as to how they got to look so good? Closer to home I look for people’s flaws to make me feel better when I am comparing myself. It is more pronounced with strangers I may add because I do not know them and as such I have no guilt for being overly critical of someone else.

Do not mistake my words for arrogance. Please do not get me wrong. I am not proud of this behaviour in any way. It just serves to reinforce my negative mindset (and my fat mentality) which as I said earlier results in stress and me beating myself up about why I can’t look better or rather don’t look like what I perceive to be better.

The way I think and talk to myself affects my attitude, my confidence and my demeanour. If I walk out of the house thinking I look terrible, this will manifest itself in some other part of my day which will create a negative result. This is not a hypothesis. I have done this to myself more than once and felt even worse at the end of it all. It’s a cycle you know.

I have dwelt on this topic a lot I know. This is because it is very close to home and it is something I am trying to change about myself. I need to so I can let go of the demons that haunt me and so that I can give my children HONEST body positivity, so that it’s not a “do as I say and not as I do” kind of scenario.

I also dwell on this a lot because fitness is not just about what you eat and how often you work out. It is about what you tell yourself, what and who you surround yourself with. Positive people and positive images  create positivity in your life and in your mind. Talk nicely to yourself. You are an amazing person. This doesn’t mean you won’t ever stop comparing, but it helps you adjust what you decide to compare against. Comparing yourself against others is not a bad thing either – it can motivate you to become a better you – that is positive comparison (not what I practise lol).

I am starting on my “talk nicely to myself “journey because I can be a better person and I am capable of more – only that I hold myself back a lot.

Work. In. Progress…



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